Regarding writerly groupings.
I think a regular meeting place can easily be established over on 800 East where Chris and I lay our heads. Then I have to issue an asterisk.
If that is indeed to be the regular meeting place, some things need to be modified. My stipulations for further participation on my part- and my agreeing to allow my space, furniture and dishes to be used-include:
-Attend only if you brought writing to share and discuss (except John- who is a great reader and always offers thoughtful feedback); basically, attend only if you are contributing.
-Be thoughtful and constructive in your feedback and requests for feedback. Condescension and entitlement are a little rampant for my tastes. Defensiveness is rather present and rather absurd. The point of getting together as I understand it, is to evolve our writing while having a pleasant and sociable time. Respectful criticism shouldn't be met with jabby remarks and criticism or gripes should be void of name-calling and attacks. Be fucking articulate on both ends, you are fucking writers.
-Be critical. Compliments are so appreciated by me but snags are sooo important. We also should to be directing the focus of the group when our piece is being shared. What do you want from us? "I'm wondering about the story int his one..." or "How do you guys feel about the characters/dialogue/flow in the piece I am reading as I have been really struggling with the dailogue/plot/ending..." and then we will actually evolve. Sometimes it may just be "I wrote this, I like it and I want to share it." which is part of all this but when it's not that, tell us what you want.
-Be nice while being articulate and critical. Be nice while being articulately criticized.
-Bring a bottle. No more showing up empty handed and emptying out the booze supply. If you are going to drink, you need to be contributing. I have been unemployed for almost two months and I pay rent and I have managed to scare up enough cash for wine. Not because I am a self-righteous cunt but because I am a wino and I can't write with out sousing. I wouldn't drink another wino's wine with out throwing down my own first. I expect the same courtesy from guests in my house. There are times we can't bring anything, of course. Life is a mean thing and sometimes you need someone to give you their share. That needs to be an exception, not a rule.
-Respect the space. Breaking glasses, spilling all over furniture or floors and generally employing frat boy antics is unacceptable on my porch.
-Figure out a ride home. It is not the job of people with cars to ferry the rest of us about, I do not run a hostel (El Hostel Free for All Motherfuckers) and I have shit to do the next day. We are all adults and if you can't get yourself back to your own home in an adult way it is not on the rest of us to figure it out for you. If you want to crash, ask ahead of time and work it out, don't spring some last-minute awkward shit on the people that live there. I walked home from Chris' old joint at 4am in the winter plenty of sputteringly drunk nights, it is a drag but comethefuckon. We are adults. Bring that grown up ruckus, y'all.
-Respect each other and personal space and boundaries. For fuck's sake.
I am highlighting what I need to participate. Feel free to vote me off the team, I understand that I am not in charge and many of you may have different ideas about what makes a successful writer's group.
But my home, furniture, booze and dishes will no longer be utilized unless the above things are addressed. I feel I have been very genuine and generous with these things as well as my couches, pantry and time spent cooking. I enjoy sharing and cooking and writing and reading.
However, lately a number of instances have tried my patience and boundaries and I simply feel drained each time we get together. That and the house and yard are always trashed the next day.
Please don't respond to this on an individual basis. I am not calling anyone out. I am simply defining my boundaries for my home. Chris pays his own rent and can do what he sees fit but my shit ain't going out like that anymore.
Thanks for reading and pondering.
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2 comments:
I think we should allow people to come who haven't written. The question is whether they hinder the focus; more so, say, than me. My focus at writer's group is unassailable, you know.
It is not only reasonable, it is common courtesy, these things.
I agree. Thus the "Contribution Clause" : if you are contributing something- feedback, examples, your own writing, etc.- then definitely show up.
If you are simply applying your Mollusk Mind Tricks then go to Port O' Call and ask those guys if you can sit and drink all their booze.
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