You can crabwalk through the ivy, fool; you can scamper down the heath. You can quote from dumb imperiled books and fight and spread your teeth. I'd like a bit of perspective.
I'd like to be one thing, and not so much at once.
I am swimming, though. A few times a week, a few breakins at night.
I only really fight my friends, and only those who'll take it. I have no want of women flouncing through; I'll take a girl with a good strong stride, red hair, green eyes, and GodYes hobbies. One who says oh Doll I'd love to, but I have these things I have to get done to make myself happy.
I'd like to run away.
I'd like not to imagine terrible things happening to those that I love, in order to remind myself. I'd like a handle on my crazy, right? In fact, I'd like a pair- to grasp like hair and yank back hard as I keep pushing in. I'm trying to win.
I'm going to start a notebook of all the things I regret, and when it's done I will not burn it, or drop it in the ocean, or eat it page by page and shit it out. I'll leave it somewhere on a street and start another notebook, cause that sort of shit don't stop. I'd like to fuck a lady cop.
I'd like to need some help.
I get so angry so quick these days. I drink until I sleep all day. I lie to you. I am all that is man, see?
A rabbi, a priest, and a witch doctor walk into a bar. Odin joins them for a drink. Mickey Mouse whips out his gargantuan wang and crushes the witch doctor to death with it. Oh man, says the rabbi. Mickey Mouse is circumcised. The priest coughs up some semen. Mickey offers up some merch for sale, and Loki takes his glass eye out to scare the waitress. In comes an Irish beat cop. His brogue is thicker than Jennifer Lopez.
God strikes everyone dead but Loki. They split a bottle of cask strength scotch and I go home to write a joke. The end.
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2 comments:
I'm not quite sure what to say to this. I do find it interesting, however, that you are able to kick out amazing and strange pieces like this on a regular basis.
Also, I have to admit, the image of Mickey Mouse crushing a witch doctor to death with his gigantic wang is pretty priceless.
Well, now I know how you feel about lady cops and some sort of homo-erotic crush on Mickey Mouse. I do love Loki and God drinking scotch together. Makes some sort of sense.
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