Something had come before, he was sure.
The Camero heaved and careered through an unrecognizable, burning sky. His pants, having been torn apart, where replaced with over sized Hawaiian shorts. The neon of them licked his pupils and knees with tiny frozen tongues. Skinny legs left them to sink into black combat boots. There were no shirts to be found and it was cold.
He looked down.
The floor of the Camero, where his feet would have been if he weren’t lying down, was a knotted bowl of clammy flesh with one giant, twitching asshole in the center, staring up at him.
“Hey pal!” It burped. “Sure is gonna suck when this fucker touches down.”
Long tongues of flame the color of orange Popsicles could be seen lapping the sky around them as they fell. Nervous, he ventured a question.
“…Are we…?”
“Entering the atmosphere of an unknown planet? Sure as shit kid!”
“We’ll burn up!”
“You will. I’m as old as Methuselah. Shit like fire can’t hurt my ass. Matter of fact, why don’t you climb in? I’ll save ya!”
The asshole gaped as though it were yawning.
“Fuck that!”
“Ya can do that to if ya like! Jesus-Fuck it’s been a long time!”
Crash-Bang! The car rocked and squealed like a dinosaur when it hit the ground. The asshole, which he had come to think of as Burroughs, was long gone and there were slender pines waving in the evening wind around the car.
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